Merry Christmas 2004

Merry Christmas!

Current mood:uncomfortable

Ok I know that its after Christmas but Merry Christmas anyways. I hope you had a good one. Get anything good? Give anything good? Do anything fun? Man my life is like a blurry movie sometimes that I am watching in slow motion but when i look bakwards its all gone by so fast. I think that my life has been so crazy and hectic since Aug it doesnt seem like over 3 months since the last time I was home. People are coming up and hugging me and saying OH HI Welcome Home! but I feel like I was just here and it doesnt feel the same with me. At the same time its like a blur of strangeness and its more and more culture shock. Especially where I live about the whole marriage thing. My friend Ric was married in September,Emily was engaged during Aug...getting married in June, my friend Darrell who is my brothers age..21...is getting married in Jan, and our music pastor Jeremy (who i dated by the way-ha) got engaged there on Christmas day. Its fine and I am happy for everyone, don't get me wrong...but its just the furthest thing from my life right now. And then there is my friend Amy who is married and telling me about married life and my friend Denette who is due to have her baby any day now. Its just these people who i have grown up with and i feel like I am living this "ungrownup" life or something while everyone else has homes and car seats and real life. I know what I am doing is exactly what God wants me to be doing, I love it there...I love the people...but all the people from all the rest of my life dont know and cant understand what my life is now. They dont know what i do day to day...even if i tell them...they still cant really comprehend. Thats the big thing that makes me sad these days...that all the people I love here can and will never know all the people I love there and vice versa. Then as I was driving home tonight i was just thinking how much I miss everyone in NI. AND I keep referring to it as home...because, well thats what it is now. I look at the mountains around me and the vastness of everything, I think about these people and culture which I come from and people who understand me because we have grown up in the same circumstances...but then I look at how everyone seems the same...and I have changed so much. Mostly in how I view God and the way I want to live for Him. Where is the passion for Him? And yet who am i to challenge these people here? Some random person who comes in and so easily criticizes what seems to be "working"? Not that I have said anything to anyone...and sure its easy to find faults I guess. The thing is that I have started from scratch moving to NI, I am building relationships slowly and getting roots...sorta...slowly. I guess when you are forced out of your comfort zone, you take away the comfort of home, family, security...cars, money, things...and are placed in the middle of newness there are no options but to cling to God in which the process is becoming more like Him...hopefully. I know God doesnt change no matter where you are...thank Him...but there is something about being where you always have lived about God being back in the box that he has always been in...because there is no reason to think of him otherwise...maybe thats why He has taken me sooo far away. I am so far I can;t depend on anyone but Him? And what next? What is my life about? Where is it going? Do I really need to know...probably not. Obviously not since I havent recieved any emails yet with the subjecy..YOUR FUTURE...from God, although it might be nice. Will I stay in NI, will i come home nd have to start all over...and what in the world will I do? I know God will let me know and lots can happen before LIT is over in which God can direct me. Its just weird being here, I live in 2 completley different worlds. Thats weird. And yet...part of me, I dont know? My heart just feels heavy and it will all be ok but ya. Thats all. Pin It

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Embarrassing Sainsbury's Moment

Current mood:embarrassed

ok this is my embarassing moment for all of you to laugh at me. So Wed. I am at the mall doing some shopping and I stop into Tesco (local grocery store) and this older man yells from behind me. Is this Sainsburys? So I walk back to him and I say, no this is Tesco. Sainsburys is umm (and I am looking out the door of the shop trying to figure out which way it is) its down there. He gets closer to me and says, love...I was talking to my wife. I turn around and there she is looking at me strangly.  Oh the funny moments of life!


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